An Almanac For The 21st Century

Welcome to This you Need. Allow me to help you find that one perfect thing that will solve a problem or simply bring you joy. 

Badass Cross Stitch

Badass Cross Stitch

Until recently I was living with my grandmother. My social life wasn't exactly... existent, and I basically spent my time watching TV on my laptop and writing (I did get out and do stuff, don't get me wrong. But I really felt like a hermit most of the time). I decided that I needed something to do while I was watching my stories or just hanging out - something that I could do kind of mindlessly, but that was also something other than TV, TV, and more TV. I'm really into crafts and art projects, so I was leaning in that direction. Add to that the fact that I was living with a Super Crafter Extraordinaire and I found my new project: Cross stitch.

I know what you're thinking: "Isn't cross stitching for old ladies?" To which I answer, "How long have you been reading this blog? Don't you know by now that I'm an old lady trapped in the body of a 20-something?" But you're sort of right. Cross stitch can be a little dull. Samplers aren't really my steez. If I was going to do some cross stitching, I wanted it to be funny and young and awesome. I was initially inspired by this: 

Sidebar: I will never tire of the Xzibit meme. I love it and I don't care how old it is. In internet years it's about a million and a half. My absolute, all-time favorite is this one, which, when I first saw it, made me CRY laughing. It still kind of does. Along with this website, it basically sums up my sense of humor:

Anyway, I was inspired by all the funny, young, subversive cross stitch patterns out there.  Remember when it was really trendy for young people to knit? Cross stitching is the new knitting. You heard it here first. So I did some shopping around and found a pattern that looked simple enough for a newbie, but didn't look completely rudimentary as a finished product. It was also what I gave my bro Sadie for her birthday.

Adorablog, no? And I did it all while watching Revenge! The only bummer is that it took me longer than average because after awhile my hands would turn to claws and seize up, so I'd have to take a break. For those of you with fibromyalgia or arthritis or the like, cross stitch with caution.

I worked so hard on the TARDIS cross stitch and loved it, so I wanted to take on another project, this time for myself. I already had a pattern in mind. Remember this? 

Of course you do. We all do. And now this classic moment has been immortalized in cross stitch form:

(Not only do I like cross stitching, I also like to put my finished cross stitch projects in ornate frames)

Living with Mrs. Crafts was a definite advantage during my cross stitch adventures. Not only was she there to help me, but she also had a huge collection of thread, so I only had to go out and buy like, two or three extra colors to complete my patterns. Even so, cross stitching is a pretty cheap hobby, compared to other intensive crafty undertakings. If you're interested in giving cross stitch a try, or you're an experienced stitcher that wants to find some awesome patterns, here are a few shops I found that have great patterns:

Defiant Damsel

This is where my caffeine pill pattern came from. The shop also offers patterns themed around Pulp Fiction, Heathers, and The Big Lebowski.

Mr. X Stitch

I bought my TARDIS pattern from this shop. He also has a website that can be found through the Etsy shop where you can find more patterns.

Disorderly Stitches

I haven't bought anything from this shop... yet. I really love this pattern, though, and may have to make it my own.

Bonus pattern:

How awesome is this? It would take me 40 years to finish, and my hands would cramp so badly they'd fall off, but it might be worth it.

Badass Cross Stich Patterns: Prices vary, usually between $5 and $10

The Sweetheart Skinny Jean by Old Navy

The Sweetheart Skinny Jean by Old Navy

Marc by Marc Jacobs Totally Turnlock Wallet

Marc by Marc Jacobs Totally Turnlock Wallet