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An Almanac For The 21st Century

Welcome to This you Need. Allow me to help you find that one perfect thing that will solve a problem or simply bring you joy. 

Van's Gluten Free Waffles

Van's Gluten Free Waffles

I'm not a fan of breakfast foods, unless they're dessert-like breakfast foods. Sausages? Gross. French Toast? Delish. Sadly, because of my horrible litany of food allergies and intolerances, I can't stomach gluten or sugar. Gluten and sugar, for your info, happen to be the two key ingredients in the greatest breakfast foods. But I have found a loophole! Van's Gluten Free Waffles.

I'm sure you're thinking, "But I've seen gluten free waffles AND pancakes all over the place!" To which I answer, "Sure, but those little suckers were packed with sugar, and therefore off limits to me." See, there's a common trend of making gluten free products, but then loading them full of sugar. Because sugar tastes good! If you can't have gluten, at least you can pack your insides full of sugar, right? WRONG. Well, wrong if you're me. If you're you, then rock on and sugar yourself up.

I'm going to go on a little rant before we continue. Ok? It's just going to be this paragraph, so skip down if you don't care about the great injustices being committed by grocers all over this fair country. There's a trend happening among food companies wherein they label things "gluten free" when they are inherently gluten free. They're hoping to capitalize on the trend of going gluten free by getting brainwashed housewives to pay $2 more for "gluten free" tortilla chips than the store brand. GUESS WHAT? Corn tortilla chips are ALL gluten free. Cornflakes are gluten free. Ketchup is gluten free. Chicken is gluten free. So then my dear friends who are just trying to help* say, "I saw all these gluten free things at Trader Joe's, you should shop there!" and I have to be the asshole who's like, "Actually, there's almost nothing I can eat at Trader Joe's. Most of their GF stuff is inherently GF, and if they have specialty items, they contain sugar, which is a bigger no-no for me than gluten." Which is why I go to Whole Foods to get Van's GF waffles and not TJ's to get their in-house brand that is chock full of sugar. (To be fair, I do go to TJ's for produce, dog treats, and frozen shrimp. It's a good thing I live a mile away from both a Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, because LAWD food shopping for me is an ORDEAL.)

*The other thing I feel bad about shooting down? When a well meaning person tells me to check out X Vegan Restaurant. I'm not a vegan. I'm allergic to/avoid sugar, gluten, and dairy. As I am fond of reminding friends when we choose a place to eat: It is MUCH easier for me to eat at a steakhouse than a vegan restaurant. And meat is delicious.

I stole this photo from Van's Waffle Pinterest page. But this isn't even staged - their waffles really look this good.
I stole this photo from Van's Waffle Pinterest page. But this isn't even staged - their waffles really look this good.

Back to Van's GF Waffles. These waffles are great because they are gluten free, but are also sweetened with nothing but pure fruit juice. They won't fall apart, but are still light and flaky enough to be as good as "real" waffles. This is a hard balance to strike, as GF goods in the bread family tend to be like rock hard cardboard, or fall apart at the slightest touch. Van's GF Waffles keep their shape while still being, well, waffles. They hold syrup well and soak it up without getting all soggy. One note: They do contain soy. While I avoid blatantly soy-ish products (soy milk, edamame), I don't have any allergies to soy, so that's not a big deal for me. If you're allergic to soy, then I'm very sorry, because your diet probably sucks more than mine.

I prefer plain waffles, so I go for the natural or, if forced, flax varieties. But! Van's also makes gluten free frozen waffles in apple cinnamon, blueberry, buckwheat with berries, and ancient grains flavors. If you're gluten (and sugar) free and miss delicious dessert-y breakfast foods, look no further than Van's Gluten Free Waffles. Go pick up a box or five today!

Van's Gluten Free Waffles: About $4 for a box of 6

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